This is part 2 of a 3 part interview with Leigh McLeroy,
author of the fabulous new book, The
Beautiful Ache.
Part I of the interview is (here). Part 3 of the interview is (here).
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GL: You mention in
the chapter titled “The Ache for Adventure” that many of us play it safe. Say
more. What have you seen among believers and non-believers that demonstrates
timid hearts playing it safe? What do you think goes on in the minds and hearts
of those playing it safe? And what is the consequence of playing it safe?
LMc: We protect our hearts in so
many ways. We insulate ourselves with possessions thinking that they equal
security or safety. As believers we stay away from topics or even areas of the
Bible that challenge or unsettle us, because we’d rather be comfortable – even
comfortably wrong or uncertain – than unsettled. We don’t confront one another
in love when we sense something wrong because we’d rather be liked than do the
hard work of “iron sharpening iron.”
There’s a chapter in the book
called “The Ache of a Prodigal” that describes a year-long struggle I had with
a street kid whose court-appointed advocate I was, and being involved in his
life was painful. But it was good and right that I was there…and I knew beyond
a doubt that God had called me to the assignment. He broke my heart in ways I
didn’t know it could break…but I’m reminded of what C.S. Lewis said in The Four Loves: the only place outside
heaven where we can be safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell. He warned against locking our
hearts away, and said that the consequence – and I agree – is that they become
safe, but unbreakable. I never want my heart to be unbreakable, even though I
do not like having it broken.
GL: Leigh, in the
book you tell the story of sky-diving and you tell many more such stories that
had me spell-bound. I’ve actually splashed my copy of The Beautiful Ache with ink highlighting your own beautifully
written words of wisdom about playing it safe and about risking. I think the
following excerpt is my favorite:
A poster in my old
college dorm room proclaimed: “A ship in the harbor is safe…but that is not
what ships are made for. Trust the unseen wind.” It seemed easier then. Less was riding on the exercise of trust when
I was twenty-one. My failure to do so then was more easily disguised. But these
days I live out in the open. I speak of trust. I write about it. I do believe.
And at times, I need the One I believe to help my unbelief. I am so grateful
that in his great mercy, he does.
If God has placed you in a moment
that requires trust—or the long sustaining of it—he has brought you to a place
of great intimacy and possibility. Trust is for lovers, not for strangers. So
instead of asking, “Do I dare?” why not ask instead, “Am I loved?” If the
answer is yes, then trust is the only reasonable response.
This is beautiful, Leigh, and true.
A reader of this interview, though, might be struggling to
believe that he is loved or that she is loved. For one example, I think of a
woman I’ve known who nodded to all the love stuff, but as I got to know her finally
admitted, “Glenn, you don’t know what I’ve done. You don’t know how much dirt
there is. Becoming a Christian hasn’t changed that. I screw up so badly, so
often. I’ve heard a gazillion times the little saying, ‘God loves you,’ but I
can’t see how that can be true when I can’t stay away from sin.”
For her, instead of the ‘Am I loved?” question, the question that seems most relevant to her was ‘How angry and disappointed is God in me?’ She went to church, even a small group, but she kept God at arm’s length because she believed he was angry and disappointed with her all the time.
What would you say to someone who has a hard time believing that God loves her?
LMc: I know this is going to sound
too easy, even as I write it. But grace is too easy, for us, isn’t it? That’s
why it’s so offensive – especially to self-sufficient, proud, and
good-by-comparison people like you and me. (I think I just called you proud.
I’m sorry.) But the fundamental question in regard to trust really is “Am I loved?” Every time. Because the
answer to “How angry and disappointed is God in me?” was answered at the cross.
With terrible, total love.
We struggle with grace because the
reality of God’s loving overture to us somehow seems less “true” than the
reality of our own awful sin. Is God disgusted by our sins – past, present and
future? Yes! They are wholly unacceptable to Him. And in the death of Jesus,
they are dealt with in a way that demonstrates that disgust – and they are
resolved.
At some point we must stop keeping
score, and wondering if His sacrifice really is enough. It is. It always will
be. And when we live as if we believe it is enough, a transformation of love
begins that allows us to stop whipping ourselves, and to be changed. The cross
demonstrated forever God’s love for me…and His kindness really does lead me to
repentance every day of my life.
GL: That is good news! If I can turn another
corner, who do you hope buys this book? For whom were you writing? I know in one sense you were writing for the
Lord and for yourself, but you probably had an audience in mind.
LMc: I did. And it’s the “B” list –
the list that I include myself on. Not the self-satisfied, perfected,
on-top-of-it-all crowd, but the men and women whose lives aren’t working out as
they hoped they might, or who are struggling to believe and live out that
belief in a meaningful way, in the face of some very real obstacles.
You know the parable Jesus told
about the dinner? A certain man was giving a big dinner, and the “A” list
invitees all had excuses not to come. They had real estate holdings to see to,
or livestock to try out, or had just been married – they were all busy with the
stuff of commerce and relationship, not ever sensing that there might be more.
So the party-giver decided to open his doors to the “B” list: the poor and
crippled and blind and lame. He told them to come; that there was still room.
I’m writing to anyone who knows that he or she is missing something – and that
it’s something they can’t get for themselves. Someone who’s hungry for more,
and believes that God just might have something to satisfy that hunger.
GL: Your hunger for God, particularly through hunger for His
Word, is evident throughout your book. I love the way you’ve told stories from
your life in relation to the many great stories of Scripture. How did you come to know God’s Word so well?
With all that you’ve got going on in our fast-paced world, what comes to your
mind and heart that keeps you in the Book?
LMc: I’m so glad you asked this
question! My love for God’s word goes back to college. I was a journalism major
at Texas A&M (I know, it sounds like an Aggie joke, but it’s not!) and I
was reading – for pleasure and for class – constantly. It occurred to me one
day that although by that time I’d been a believer for a decade, I did not
instinctively yearn for God’s word, or reach for it when I had spare a moment
like I might reach for a novel or a magazine or some other – lesser! – reading
material.
So, I prayed a prayer that God was
pleased to answer: I asked Him to help me fall in love with His word, and He
did. I began teaching the Bible when I was 24, and my hunger for it just
deepens, it doesn’t diminish. I am not a Bible scholar, but I am a Bible
student, and a Bible lover. It is simply the wildest, strongest, richest,
truest text that I can fill my heart and mind and soul with.
And my life doesn’t inform it – it informs my life. That’s a very
important distinction…and one I hope is clear to readers of The Beautiful Ache. I come to understand
my life as I come to understand God’s word – not the other way around. I love
that His word is finally familiar enough for me to experience something, and
then remember that He’s already told me how it “fits” and why it is true. My
regret is that I haven’t memorized great chunks of it more of it deliberately
and systematically by this time. That’s definitely a goal of mine.
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Part I of the interview is (here).
Part 3 of the interview is (here).
Leigh’s website for the book is www.thebeautifulache.com
To buy the book from Amazon click (here).
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