Catherine Claire, On Shirking Adulthood

Power, expertise, office, and influence---more likely than not if you were to see this list of items together, as a Christian, you’d be a bit suspicious of them. How many sermons have we heard on the temptation of Christ in the wilderness, where power has been a temptation to avoid? And influence, more likely than not, is something that you lump in the same category as caring too much about what other people think of you.

While certainly this list of items has ample room within it for abuse, what would you say if I told you that these very things are key aspects of our learning to become mature Christian adults?

That at least, is the premise in the final chapters of Dr. Henry Cloud’s book Changes That Heal. In the chapter, What is adulthood?, Cloud examines the life of Christ as a pattern for the rest of us. He notes, “from the beginning the role of authority is an important aspect of the image of God.” Cloud discusses how God delegated authority to his image-bearers Adam and Eve, and subsequently to Moses, the patriarchs, the judges, and the kings. In 1 Cor. 15:22-28, we learn of how in God’s plan of redemption Christ takes authority over things which have been lost, and gives them back to God. We come into adulthood by imitating Christ, first in his submission, but next in taking authority over what is delegated to us.

If we have been good students, we’ve been learning submission throughout our childhood. As we submit to our parents, we submit also to God. As we come into our adulthood, we come out from under the direct authority of our parents and come under God’s direct authority. But our attitude, like Christ’s, still remains one of submission. We are submitted to the Father, and we submit to one another out of love.

But here’s where our paradigm may need to be challenged a little. Christ actually calls us to take authority over the domain he has put us in. That means developing expertise in a particular calling or in various skills. It means exercising the influence God has given us for His glory. It means though our power is derived from God, it is a real power nonetheless, and that we are responsible to use what we are given for good and not for evil, for His causes and not our own selfish gain. It also means stepping up to the plate. It means embracing responsibility, choosing to be committed to a place, a church, a job, a spouse, a friend, a cause.

But we live in a society that glorifies perpetual adolescence and independence over commitment. The Peter Pan syndrome has grown to a Peter Pandemic, and the church also suffers because of it. But, to quote a wise teacher, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Esau gave up his birthright and adult responsibility for a pot of stew. Onan lost his life when he failed to embrace his adulthood and spill his seed on behalf of Tamar. And Saul’s own son Jonathan exercise more maturity than His father.

As nice as it might seem to us, to fly off with the lost boys to a never-never land where there is no such thing as responsibility, the whole notion runs counter to the dignity God wove into our being from the very beginning of time. At some point, we must look squarely in the face of the world in front of us, in all its messy, untamed unruliness and put our hand to the plow. What is the little patch of green earth that the Lord has given us? We don’t have to do it alone, however. As one of my favorite poets, Rainier Maria Rilke, says so eloquently:

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,

Then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,

Go to the limits of your longing.

Embody me.

Flare up like flame

And make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you; beauty and terror.

Just keep going. No feeling is final.

Don’t let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.

You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.

The world is a scary place. As we move out to take authority over its unruliness, we will encounter beauty and terror. Our little boy and little girl hearts will still recoil in fear and want to run and hide. But though we are called to be bold, we aren’t called to do it alone. God still holds the hands of adults.

©Catherine Claire 2006

Comments

[Judy N]

Oh, Catherine. Thank you for this offering. Just what I needed today. And the Rilke poem: beautiful. I'm copying it for my quote file!

[Catherine]

Thanks Judy. The poem is from Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God. It has become one of my new treasured books. It's a fairly new edition and won an award for best translation of poetry.

[Rachel W]

Perfect for today, Catherine. It is such a temptation for me and others to want to ignore responsibility and be safe and untouched. I guess the first step anyway is for us to take responsibility for our sins and ask for forgiveness. Thank you for reminding me that responsibility is a gift from God and we need to seize it and do the right thing with it.

Well done.

[Kristine]

Awesome thoughts, girl--convicting and affirming.