Thanks for your many emails and keep ‘em coming.
If someone says “guitar,” and you automatically think “worship”… you might be an evangelical. Douglas Burtt
If you say the word “just” more frequently than the word “Jesus” when you pray…you might be an evangelical. Linc Ashby
There is more that Bramadat notices along the way, including a hilariously sober account of evangelical prayer practices that involve both the frequent use of the modifier “just” (as in “Lord, we just want to ask you”) and what Bramadat calls the typical evangelical mouth-click. He tries to interpret the latter remarkable mannerism:
Its location in the rhetoric is similar to and often follows the word “just”: “God, we just [pause.. click] want to thank you for your son and to ask you...” By implying that the speaker is unable to finish a prayer because he or she is overwhelmed by the opportunity to communicate with God, this sound softens the believer's petition [which otherwise might sound arrogant].
If you use the words “Jesus,” “God,” “Father,” and “Lord” as punctuation in your prayers…you might be an evangelical. GL
If you think drinking alcohol is a sin, but you have no problem helping yourself to seconds of everything at the church potluck dinner…you might be an evangelical. Linc Ashby
If you have ever burned a U2 CD….you might be an
evangelical. Tonya Steed
[This works for destroying a CD as well as pirating a copy. GL]
If you think the song “Lean on Me” is worldly when played on secular radio, but worship when played on a Christian station….you might be an evangelical. Tonya Steed
If you have ever considered kissing dating goodbye…you might be an evangelical. Tonya Steed
If you've ever been involved in a dating scheme that didn't involve alcohol or money...you might be an evangelical. Crawford Clay
If you believe what’s really needed to fix this country is a two ton monument of the Ten Commandments on the courthouse lawn…you might be an evangelical. Crawford Clay
If you’d like to submit your own jokes, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.