Aaron Menikoff, To Feel or Not to Feel

It’s my understanding that, were I Buddhist, the pinnacle of my religious experience would be Nirvana, a letting go of the self, a renunciation of desires and feelings that define who I am on one hand but keep me from being what I ought to be on the other. I confess that I don’t really understand this. Buddhists are quick to point out to Westerners that Nirvana defies a positive explanation. Still, I find Nirvana intriguing; after all, feelings are troubling little creatures. Sometimes, my emotions have more control of my tongue than I do; before I have time to blink I’m left regretting what I just said. At other times, passions hijack my heart, leaving me ashamed of the feelings welling up from within me.

Feelings aren’t just troubling, though, they’re powerful. The English philosopher Herbert Spencer said, “Opinion is ultimately determined by the feelings, and not by the intellect.” I think he was wrong but I know what he meant. Take Clint Eastwood’s recent hit, “Million Dollar Baby.” Without giving away the details, the feeling of warmth toward euthanasia this movie evoked left viewers more inclined to believe that euthanasia is good. For another example, take Laura Ramirez who lost a sister and two nieces to the California mudslides of 2005. Feeling the pain of this devastating loss she told a reporter, “It’s hard to believe in God when a baby gets buried.” In light of this, who can deny the power and importance of feelings? They are not to be overlooked, underestimated, or ignored.

As a Christian, I’m reminded that the right emotions are always found when God makes Himself the object of our affections. Moses prayed that God’s people would be so satisfied with His steadfast love that they would rejoice and be glad (Psalm 90:14). The Apostle Paul exhorted his readers to “Rejoice in the Lord always” (Phil. 4:4). Ironically, true joy is not found by pursing it but by pursuing its Giver. To those untouched by the Holy Spirit such words are naïve, perhaps even dangerous. But those who know Christ understand that He brings a peace, a quiet confidence, a pleasure that need not be shaken by the fiercest storm. Of course, the right emotions are not limited to joy and gladness. Those who pursue God in truth find a cross, and here there is sobriety and sadness. Jesus Christ did not deserve to be nailed to the cross with my sin, my debt, and yet He was. Each day tempts me to become hardened to my offenses, to downplay the severity of my sin. I cannot, I must not allow this to happen. The crux of my faith is a Savior who died on a cross: and I want this reflected in my heart. At the cross there is great joy—for His death and resurrection brought me life—and there is great sadness—for He procured my life by His death.

It occurs to me that I do not, I will not, always feel the right thing – whether it be joy, sadness, a love of that which is good, or even contempt for that which is evil. Knowing myself, I’m not surprised to read in Proverbs, “Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the LORD all the day” (Prov. 23:17). Indeed, truth be told, knowledge of what my emotions ought to be tends to precede what they actually are. For example, too often the slightest affront leaves me bitter long before I’m gracious. Every day, a battle for my soul is being waged in the arena of my heart. That’s my point. The Christian life, the Christian walk, is about so much more than reigning in the tongue, or guarding the eyes, it’s about transforming the heart. Victories here are the hardest for me, but they are also the sweetest; for they give me hope that by the grace of God my “inner nature is being renewed day by day” (2 Cor. 4:16). Somehow, I think the pursuit of Nirvana, the setting aside of feelings, may just be the easy way out.

 

© Aaron Menikoff, 2005.

Comments

[Charlie Babcock]

This ties to a recent tragedy that occured in our town, Franklin, TN. A young woman was in the habit of picking up hitchhickers so she could share her faith with them.

Article: http://www.tennessean.com/local/archives/05/03/67637727.shtml

''She was a trusting person, but just a little, bitty thing,'' said Doyle Seeley, pastor at the First Assembly of God. ''I think her heart overruled her head, and that got the best of her.''

The thing that is even more interesting isn't expressed as fully in this article but I saw it on the local news. The parents were expressing what looked like joy and saying that they forgave the the man who murdered their daughter. At the time I was thinking "these people are crazy". They are on here looking happy and talking about how they were praying for him, etc.

Could they actually have been living what you are talking about or are were they simply taking a different route to Nirvana by ignoring/hiding the real emotions of hate and disgust. This world will never know.

[Dug]

Nirvana is a difficult concept. It can be understood as nihilistic -- surely, even Gore Vidal has done so in his amazing historical novel, _Creation_, and he's no rightwinger or monotheist -- (in)famously, depending on your point of view.

However, if Nirvana is understood to be the detachment of the self from the pain of the world in a "don't-sweat-what-you-can't- change" sense, it can be helpful. Often, though, it seems to me to dovetail all-too-nicely with the "just-sit-there-and-take-it" "philosophy/strategy" of those in power.

Interesting post and comment!

[Aaron]

Dear Charlie,

Thanks for your comments. I think we'd both agree that emotions can be suppressed. Maybe this is what these parents were doing. Perhaps they were simply imperfectly living out Matthew 6:44. In any event, I hope their goal isn't Nirvana! On this topic of loving people in difficult circumstances -- as well as the issue how to reconcile the need to love an enemy and seek justice -- I've found Don Carson's LOVE IN HARD PLACES very helpful.